Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I've started a tumblr account along with this because I love the stuff I can find on there - besides all the porn - I mean, really...

http://bodysymbols.tumblr.com/post/53943872950/one-of-those-songs-that-just-makes-me-move-I

... So, as you're listening to Usher singing to you "More"....

T Minus 5 days - July 1st here we come.  Yesterday I had my pre-op appointment and class with the doctor and then registration at the hospital.

It's going to be an adventure.  That's for sure.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

It started with a purse - and ended with God.

Once again I find myself considering one topic to blog about (Ode to the Lost Purse), which turns into something else all together....

I've previously mentioned that I work for a large insurance company.  I recently changed departments in the same group, before I answered incoming phone calls from members and providers, now I answer written correspondence from members and providers.  (I should put really anyone who writes or calls.)

I also work from home.  I can't tell you how many times it has struck me that I am amazingly blessed to be able to do that - work from home.  It saves me money.  It has allowed me freedom to be a bigger part of my family.  It has also made me a bit of a hermit and hasn't helped one bit with my weight gain... ah, well.

For 2 years I answered phones.  Some people were upset - no many, but some - some people were rude, again not many - but some ... my favorite calls were from our members.  Angry, sad, happy, confused, ... I just felt a connection with someone who needed my help.

Now that I'm on written I have less time with those members.  Not that one on one contact that I used to have....

Yesterday, I received an IM from a customer advocate in Illinois.  It seemed one of our members ended up on their line and they needed to transfer the member who was specifically asking for me.  Since I just started in my written unit, I can't take calls.  So I IMd a friend who agreed to take the phone call.

Later I asked about the call and my friend told me it went fine - somewhere in the conversation there was mention that the member's spouse died recently and I said, "Ah, I remember her.  I prayed with her on the phone."

Surprised my friend responded, "What?  You did what?"

"I prayed with her."

It's simple enough.  Her spouse died, she was feeling overwhelmed with tasks she had never dealt with before and she was weeping much of our conversation. She talked about feeling alone.  She talked about how confusing insurance was and how I was so kind in helping her and I must believe in God and know that he takes care of us. 

And I said to her, "Ma'am, I can imagine how overwhelmed you are.  Imagine the blessing though of living such a long life where you can have a spouse/partner that long?  That's a blessing."

And somewhere in there she mentioned prayer and I asked her, out of no where, if she would like to pray with me.

Between tears she said, "Yes."

And we prayed.

The thing is - I'm not religious.  Oh, sure, I was raised in the light and tall shadow of the Southern Baptist church and theology.  Disciple Now, VBS, Church Camp - I did it.

And I never belonged.  It didn't feel right.  God, as he was introduced to me, was not known to me.  I didn't comprehend judging others. I didn't understand the concept of not believing and therefore you went to hell.  That made no sense to me.

And as I got older - and became an adult - I wandered from belief to belief trying to find my way.  Catholic.  Methodist.  - No.  Pagan.  Nah. 

And I discovered that it's hard to put my finger on my base belief - I'm somewhere between a Taoist and a Buddhist.  I believe in Christ, though.  I do.  I believe that he is part of a greater being - Call that Being God - or Allah - or Earth - or WhatHaveYou.  I believe that Jesus is an amazing teacher and guide.  Just as Buddha is.   Just as Earth is.   Just as Allah is  Just as so many before and after them.

I believe that the teachings of many - are true reflections of the same:  Be kind.  Be just.  Be loving.  Be giving.  Know yourself.  Know others.

For a long time I called this a "Did Do" life.  One day I want to be the spirit/the energy that leaves this body and can feel the light and love surround me and I can say, "I did do."

I was kind.  I was just.  I was loving.  I gave to those who needed.  I reflected upon myself.  I touched lives and they touched me.  It is all of that, that I did do.

A few years ago I became an ordained minister.  Legally, I am a Reverend.  I debated a long time as to why I wanted to do it - and it was to serve others in the form of marrying couples who love each other - with no cost to the couple.  I even took a few seminary classes. (a few being 7)

And to my friend that said, "Wow.  You surprise me. [praying with the caller]."   I responded, "You realize there is a Rev. in my name - it doesn't mean a God thing or a specific belief - it means that I honor your spirit.  I'm there if you need that.  She needed someone to pray with her."

Prayer is not in my job description.

In fact, I think it might not be something they would ever encourage.  There might be a guideline for that.

But I challenge you - anyone - to think about how you truly interact with people - and how you can take that one step to change a path.  Just by kindness.  Just by reaching a little bit further than you normally would for someone you don't know.  Or listening when someone needs it.  Praying when someone needs it.  Buying coffee for a stranger - because they didn't know they needed that small act of kindness.

...

And this blog was going to be about my not finding the right purse.

Or why I even carry one.

...
Here's your symbol.  It's a symbol known by every culture.  Every belief.  Every age.




When you meet a stranger and you can't speak the same language the common action is open palms.  Prayer - open palms.  Meditation - open palms. 

Supplication. Offering. Hope.

May you seize every possible opportunity to accept and believe.

ߧ

Sunday, June 16, 2013

It's a Recipe, It's a Tramp, It's a Roger - oh, it's my blog...

It's always interesting to me how blogging turns into another topic all together - like today's blog.

I'm a pretty big fan of Mad Men.  Love the clothes, love the attitude and I just love the show.  Roger Sterling is a huge bonus.  His quips and just overall charm is so much fun to watch.

One of the episodes of Mad Men dealt with a hobo - back in the 30's, maybe early 40's who was traveling and stayed with Don Draper's (or whomever) family.  He was promised money and a meal for hard work.  That night, he showed young Don some of the symbols used by hobo's to mark a family or town.  Every family gets a mark on the mailbox or fence post.  The next day when the man went to collect from Don's dad, he looked the man in the face and told him it was time for him to go.

You see, the hobo did his end of the bargain - but the dad did not.

Don later runs out to check what symbol was on their fencepost and it was one of the symbols that the hobo had shown him the night before - "dishonest man"...

I was amazed when searching about hobo symbols to see how many there are - there are many

...

So what started me with this was I have been putting together a recipe index that I can draw from after my surgery and healing.  I was also planning on sharing it with a few friends and acquaintances who are either very healthy already - or - who recently had the surgery - or - will soon have the surgery.

While I was linking and working out the specifics of the database I thought I should blog and share the initial link.

So I grabbed my symbol book and looked up the word food. 

... and there it said, "Also an English hobo sign that tells the passing tramp food is sometimes given here."

photo.JPG

Which then began a whole other train of thought for the blog that was merely to be about recipes and my joy of feeding people.

This is also known as shiny object syndrome.

So this is the link to the database.  If you look at the bottom there are tabs for each topic but for some reason GoogleDrive won't let me make the hyperlinks happen.  So if you find a recipe you like under a specific topic, well, do a Ctrl+F on the recipes page and search there.

Getting side-tracked again: Roger Sterling - even if you don't love the show you have to love his lines.  I found this today: Top 10 Roger Sterling Quotes.

I have 2 weeks before my surgery. Count them with me - one - two.

I need to get better about blogging.

ߧ

Sunday, June 2, 2013

 
Body Symbols.  What a name?  Surely deep thought went into it - surely I felt a touch of the infinite and the grace of brilliance struck me and gave me this...   or, I was sitting at my desk, trying to figure out what in the world I was going to name this blog.  What could encapsulate everything I'm trying to convey and the journey I'm on and still be the go to place for my wanderings and a journal of my rise and stumble?  And I glanced up - and I thought "Body Symbols"  - perfect  - even better because it was an actual gmail address still available. 
Where/who am I today? 
 
I'm a 36 year old (36, and 10 months) woman.  Mom to 6, I gave birth to 2 of them.  I've been a wife a couple of times.  Which means I started and stopped a few times. I am a tad bit flighty, sometimes eccentric and often imperfect.  I love with flare and fire and I give much.  I am interested in everything, which means completion of projects don't happen as much as I wish they would - something I plan on working on.  I realize in about 3 years I'll be 40 - and in that time I have so much I want to accomplish, much I want to finish, much I want to begin - and this blog will be part of it.
 
A large part of this blog (there's a pun there) is my upcoming bariatric journey - I am weeks, days away from a bariatric sleeve surgery as a tool for this path - a tool - because the surgery is not going to fix this body - it will help though.  I currently weigh 291 lbs.  That's 29 large bags of potatoes. That's 2 adults.  That's 3 preteens.  That's just too much.  So, yes, my surgery and weight will be a part of this blog.
 

Other parts of this blog is just life stuff.  I work for a large (huge) insurance company, I know you've heard of us - and I work for the customer portion of our federal members.  I have a German family who became my family when I agreed to take on a foreign exchange student in 2008 - Melanie became part of our lives, her parents are some of our dearest friends.

I'll share my different look on spirituality and maybe explore it a little here.  I'll share my journey on trying to learn more and be more ... for myself - for this life. 

I'll post stories - I'll post truths - I'll post triumphs - I'll post tragedies.  I'll post because writing is a balm and a means of keeping myself on track.

It's a beginning - and end - and a continuation.

ߧ